About me

Hi there, I'm Joel Rheinberger, author and broadcaster.

I have seven books you might want to check out:

ZeitHeist - after the ecological apocalypse, the banks and corporations that ruined the planet build an island paradise for themselves. And a group of Aussie thieves are hired to crack the place open.

The Poppy Lu Series - a young pilot learns to fly without a plane and joins the world of super heroes. Three books so far: (1) Suddenly Super, (2) Surprisingly Super and (3) Seriously Super.

The Hopping Ghost - a wee Scottish vampire finds herself in deep trouble in 1920's Shanghai.

Chick Magnet - a crime caper with a number-crunching assassin tracking down stolen drugs.

Discipline - a modern fantasy about an apprentice to a black magician.

When I'm not writing, I talk for a living on ABC Radio. (But for the record, this blog is purely personal.)

Some of my interviews get played right around the network, so if you live in Australia you've probably heard my voice. Often doing silly things, like getting naked on the radio or brushing a dead whale's teeth.

I also created and presented a long-running ABC podcast called Nerdzilla, which was about comics, computers, sci-fi, super heroes, games, gadgets, and geeks.

Before my time at the ABC, I was a copywriter. I won some awards for it, including a couple of New York Medals.

When I'm not typing or talking, I play games with my friends and teach Loong Choo Kung Fu.

I live in Hobart, truly the most beautiful city in the world, with my equally beautiful wife Iris and my son Louis.

You can find me on Twitter.

I have an author page on Facebook too.

I even post on Mastadon noe and then.

And I would love to email you! Please join my list. 

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Dancing cosplayers at Oz Comic Con

Let's make some cosplayers do the Running Man challenge, shall we?

This footage comes from Oz Comic Con in Melbourne.

I was there to interview some cool people, like Robert Patrick from Terminator II and Samuel Anderson from Doctor Who.

But there are so many people wandering around in amazing costumes, it just seemed a shame not to put them on video. Doing something silly. For no good reason.

If you've never been to a con before, it's a hell of a lot of fun. Here's a little guided tour of the event, which I originally put out on the Periscope app.

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Review - "The Shepherd's Crown" by Terry Pratchett

This is the 41st and final Discworld* book.

What a sad statement that is.

Terry Pratchett's delightful universe began its life as a parody of fantasy tropes. Powerful wizards and witches, magnificent barbarians, cunning thieves, and incompetent guardsmen.

Over 41 books the Discworld has retained that sense of humour, but developed into an entirely solid fantasy setting. With its endless possibilities for story, Pratchett never felt the need to go elsewhere, content to potter around in his creation.

He returned to his favourite characters time and again. This final book features the accomplished young witch Tiffany Aching, along with her companions the Nac Mac Feegle - a clan of ferocious blue gnomes with broad Scottish accents.

Together they face an invasion of elves, in the high places where the border between worlds grows thin.

This is Terry Pratchett's farewell to his fans and his Discworld, released well after his death from early-onset Alzheimer's disease.

One of his major characters dies early on in the story. Their approach to death - practical and accepting - made me want to cry. It is a thinly veiled glimpse at Terry's gratitude for his life and opportunities.

The Shepherd's Crown is infused with warmth. It is a love letter to the best of humanity - the peacemakers, the healers, and the humble salt of the earth folk who most need their attention.

It doesn't have any sort of twist, as Pratchett's books often do. And I was never in any doubt about how it was going to end. But the journey is beautiful.

If you've never read one of Discworld books - oh, how I envy you! - then don't start here.**

But if you know your way around Ankh-Morpork already, you must read The Shepherd's Crown. You must turn the last page and feel the sweet sadness as the tale finally ends.

(I was lucky enough to speak with Terry Pratchett about 15 years ago, when he was touring Australia. Have a listen via the Nerdzilla blog.)

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* So called because the world is a disc, rotating on the backs of four gigantic elephants, themselves standing on the shell of a planet-sized star-turtle.

** They're all good, but Equal Rites is probably the best jumping-on point. And you need to read at least one of the Tiffany Aching books before you start this one - preferably The Wee Free Men.***

*** Terry loved a good footnote. They're often the funniest bits of his books.

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Review - "Fitz and the Fool" trilogy by Robin Hobb

Robin Hobb has become very meta as a fantasy author - with this series she has created a trilogy of trilogies.

The central character of them all is FitzChivalry, who is both gifted and cursed to be the bastard son of a Prince.

He is unwanted, yet his blood is too valuable to waste. He lives in the royal castle, but is treated with contempt by those within it. He has amazing telepathic gifts, but will be killed as a witch if he reveals them.

Fitz finds a place as the apprentice to the royal assassin, who teaches him to be both a spy and a subtle killer.

The first three books, The Farseer Trilogy, are about Fitz's younger years. They are masterful fantasy works, with incredibly solid characters in a gripping tale.

The next three books, The Tawny Man Trilogy, are about Fitz in his middle age. It's quite enjoyable, if not quite as good as the first trilogy.

And now we come to the new trilogy, Fitz and the Fool, which is about Fitz's mature years.

He's in his 50's and has a new identity which allows him to leave his difficult upbringing behind. He has a place and a family. He has found contentment.

Naturally, it doesn't last.

One of the hundreds of characters from the books (that I've completely glossed over) is the Fool, who first appears as the King's jester and is later revealed to be a pale prophet.

Fitz and the Fool become closer than brothers, as the Fool uses Fitz to find a better future for their world, no matter how brutal their trials may be.

As this new series begins, they haven't seen each other for a decade, but the Fool reappears as a broken man. He has been tortured and nearly destroyed by those who would take his prophetic power for themselves.

In this horrific state, he doesn't want the new, gentler Fitz. He needs the axe-wielding assassin of old to avenge him and cleanse his homeland of evil.

This is Robin Hobb in top form. I had trouble putting these books down at night, finding myself reading until 3am.

Like the original Farseer trilogy, these have a real emotional depth. Fitz has been through so much by this time, that it's heart-warming to see him finding happiness and devastating when that begins to crash down around him. I am absolutely hanging for the final book to appear next year.

For anyone who's read the first two series, I cannot recommend these new books enough.

If you haven't read them yet, pick up Assassin's Apprentice. You will thank me for it.

The Farseer Trilogy
- Assassin's Apprentice
- Royal Assassin
- Assassin's Quest

The Tawny Man Trilogy
- Fool's Errand
- The Golden Fool
- Fool's Fate

The Fitz and the Fool Trilogy
- Fool's Assassin
- Fool's Quest
- Assassin's Fate (working title, due 2016)

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My Radio Reel

I've been in radio for my whole adult life.

A couple of times I've strayed away from the industry, but I'm always drawn back to it. There is an energy and intelligence in radio that I love.

The first half of my career was spent writing and voicing commercials. But then I began working for ABC Local Radio, where I've done just about every job they have to offer.

Here are some highlights.

For the most part I'm a Producer and Presenter, which means that I organise programs, interview people, and go out into the field with a microphone to record reports.



I am also the creator of an ABC podcast called Nerdzilla, which is made by nerds for nerds. It's all about comics, computers, cosplay, sci-fi, superheroes, geeks, and games.

I make it with my friend Andrew Hogan and we're quite proud of it. It's very silly and a lot of fun.



And I sometimes make more scripted stuff.  I was the Producer for a terrific Radio National series called Blogdaddy. And I made this series called Tech Mate, which is about explaining technology. (Like I said, I am a nerd.)

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Review - "Half a War" by Joe Abercrombie

Joe Abercrombie's Shattered Sea trilogy was written for younger readers, but I didn't notice that when I read it.

The books are immediately engrossing, thrusting you straight into danger and intrigue.

I love that - when a writer has the confidence to just kick you screaming into their new world. And if they have this level of skill, you are swept along effortlessly.

Part of Joe's plan for making this series work for teenagers is reducing the number of characters.

His first series, The First Law, has dozens of them. Each one must be described, developed, and set into the plot - and that's before they actually do anything.

But the Shattered Sea series concentrates on only a few.

Book one Half a King follows Yarvi, who goes from prince to Slave, then must fight to find his way home.

Book two Half the World is about a pair of young warriors who travel across the planet to find allies for their besieged kingdom.

And book three Half a War gives us a Princess from a failed kingdom, a dog of war who can't choose which collar to wear, and a clever boy who would advise kings.

With fewer characters, the pace accelerates. Because you spend less time setting them up and more time moving the story forward. And Joe Abercrombie does that, relentlessly.

The world of the Shattered Sea is beautifully complete. You can feel the weight of history, the clash of cultures, and the breadth of the continents.

But it never slows down to lecture you. The story thunders along, allowing you to catch glimpses of the background from the corner of your eye.

I have enjoyed all of Joe Abercrombie's books, but this trilogy is a real highlight.

It's as dark, violent, and well-realised as his previous works. And it's got a fantastic unstoppable pace.

Highly recommended.

Joe came to Australia in 2015 and I had a chat with him on ABC Local Radio about writing these books. He's a very interesting bloke, have a listen.

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Chick Magnet

An assassin on the trail of a quarter-million in stolen drugs.

A thief who'll kill anyone in his way.

A gang war brewing, because the sharks can smell blood in the water.

And the mystery of the chicken who appeared on the assassin's pillow.

Chick Magnet by Joel Rheinberger is a fast-paced crime caper about a number-crunching hit man with the wrong bird in his bed.

If you're in Australia, I can send you a copy for $20 including postage - just message me through Facebook.

If you're elsewhere in the world or you prefer an ebook, you can get it from:

• Amazon (in paperback)
• Kindle Store (for Kindle)
• iTunes (for iBooks)
• Lulu (for other ereaders)

Still not convinced? Here's a sample - the first chapter.

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Mick Jeffrey was the book-keeper for a Sydney company that imported cheap electronics.  His meticulous spreadsheets were full of speaking toys, no-name motherboards, mobile phone chargers and tiny speakers.

Smith & Wang bought the stuff cheaply from Asia, mostly wholesaling it to two-dollar shops around the country.  Though Mick's boss Smitty also ran a profitable little stall at Paddy's Markets, so sometimes they would take a punt on a new gadget, buy a crate of them and see how the buyers reacted.

A slender 26 year old with a neat appearance and excellent posture, Mick carefully cultivated blandness.  His mousy hair was neither too short nor too long.  He chose good quality clothing without obvious branding or bright colours.  He drove a grey Toyota Corolla and never broke the speed limit.

On a Thursday in November, he arrived at the Marrickville warehouse by 8:20am in order to make coffee before he was due at his desk.

Mick was the quiet one at work.  He was well respected as Smitty's second in charge, but his reserved manner meant that he usually ate his lunch alone.  After nodding and murmuring greetings to a few people, he went into his office and pulled the door not-quite-closed.  It was the same signal as his body language – you can speak to me if you need to, but if you don't, then don't.

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The fuss over Ender's Game

Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card is a terrific sci-fi book.

It's about ultra-intelligent children being trained to defend the earth in a space war against alien invaders. That could be the plot of a really empty action story, but there's a lot of meat in Ender's story.

The ethics of war, the treatment of children, the brutal realities of a highly competitive childhood, the importance of friendship and leadership.

I read it and loved it. I also enjoyed the sequel Speaker for the Dead, which is an utterly different book but equally clever.

Ender's Game was always destined to become a movie. Unfortunately, between the book coming out (1985) and the movie being made (2013), Orson Scott Card has made many anti-gay statements.

To be fair to Card, he's basically reflecting the views of his church. He's a Mormon, so we can understand where he got his ideas and who he shares them with.

To be fair to the rest of us, who cares? In a pluralistic world, if you can't justify something without reference to your god, then you can't justify it at all.

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Discipline

Around us is an invisible ecosystem of spirit creatures.

Tom Corloni is one of the few people who can see them. But this gift means that they notice him in return - and he looks delicious.

In order to protect himself from magical predators, Tom becomes the apprentice of a black magician.

While other kids are at cricket practice, Tom is learning to deal with demons, trading pieces of himself for safety and power.

But how much will be left by the time he's ready to graduate? And what will he do if his mum finds out?

Discipline is a gripping fantasy tale, taking you from a small country town to the gates of Hell.

If you're in Australia, I can send you a copy for $25 including postage - just message me through Facebook.

If you're elsewhere in the world or you prefer an ebook, you can get Discipline from:

• Amazon (paperback)
• Kindle store (for Kindle)
• iTunes (for iBooks)
• Lulu (for other ereaders)

Still not sure? Here's a little sample for you. At this stage of the story, Tom is nine years old and his ancient master is showing him how a magician enforces his borders.

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At least once a month Kevin would patrol the perimeter and I usually accompanied him. It was a car trip of some twelve hours. We’d drive from town out to the edge of our territory, then do a long loop around it. He had a map with the agreed boundaries on it, hand-drawn in meticulous detail, and we followed it very carefully.

The windows were always wound down, even in the coldest weather. I didn’t know why until the first time we found something.

“Can you smell that?” Kevin said.

I sniffed deeply. There was something rank in the air, a musky miasma that heated my nose like chilli.

“It’s pretty yucky, Master. What is it?”

“It’s not a demon, and it’s nothing holy. What do you think?”

“Something undead? A zombie?”

“Good guess, but no. The spells that generate them generally keep the odour contained. So what else could it be? I know you know it, it’s in the basic texts.”

I sniffed again. It was like really bad breath, with a coppery tang to it. And as I breathed out, there was a hint of wet fur.

“Is it something cursed, like a wendigo or a were?”

“I believe so. We won’t know which until we find it, but it will be something of that sort. A predator, certainly, it stinks of old blood.”

He pulled the car over to the verge and slowed down to a crawl, taking us between the trees until we were completely hidden from the road. Reaching down behind the seat, he extracted a long leather satchel.

“Wait here,” he said, “don’t leave the car for any reason.”

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Why Germans are airtight

Some final random thoughts about Germany, from a German-descended Australian who's visiting his German wife's family.

Housing

Every German home I've visited is essentially airtight.

The doors aren't just a rectangular slab like ours, they have a proper lip around the edge and they seal very well against the frame.

The windows are the same. They also have two ways of opening, depending on how you turn the handle.

If it points up, the window hinges on the bottom, opening along the top - this allows some air through without allowing rain or thieves into the house.

If the handle points down, the window hinges along one side, opening like a door.

It gives you total control of the airflow through the house. And in the cold winter, it keeps the warm air trapped very effectively inside.

Germans also make better use of their suburban space, as virtually every house is multi-storey with a basement underneath.

There's just something very cool about having a basement!  It's the shed you don't have to leave the house for.

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Fun parks and recreation

We have spent the last fortnight in Celle, Germany, visiting with my wife's family.

It's a town of around 80,000 people in Lower Saxony, in the north of the country.

When we're not visiting with family, we're looking for "family entertainment", which in this part of the country means zoos.

First up was the Tier Park, which is where they train animals for media performance. If you see a lion on German TV, it probably came from here.

They say this wolf is the world's best at playing dead. A totally chilled animal.

The keeper spent three years visiting the cage daily - even on weekends and sick days - in order to be accepted as a member of the pack.

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Erse Park

(VIDEO)  We just went to Erse Park in Uetze, Germany.

This is a fun place with rides, life sized model dinosaurs, and a whole lot of truly weird shit.

German fairy tales are clearly meant to frighten children into silence at night...

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German observations

Thoughts on Germany and Germans, from an Australian bloke with a German name and a German wife.

The Roads

The Germans are much smarter than us about speed limits, which are slower in town and faster on the freeways.

Australians, myself included, get frustrated and angry in suburban 50km/h zones. But here everyone is totally cool about doing 30, and I have found that it encourages me to be relaxed about it as well.

Often in the middle of town the roads are made of old fashioned flagstones, which are indestructible but a wee bit bumpy and slippery. So you go very slowly indeed.

At this low speed, people just have more patience with local conditions.  We rode around Celle in a horse and cart today, causing about forty cars to slow down and wait for 5 minutes on a particular one-way road. There was nary a beep. They all just waited until we were out of the way.

Everyone double-parks if they need to pick up a passenger or drop off a package, and no-one else cares. You just go around them.

Here's a neato idea.

When you park in a time-limit zone, you put this little cardboard thing on your dash with the current time on it - how many minutes past the hour it was when you arrived. Then the inspectors know when you got there. (And if you don't have one of these things displayed, they book you.)

There are lots of people on bikes. The kids are legally required to wear helmets but virtually nobody else bothers.

There are dedicated bike lanes everywhere, sometimes on the road and sometimes marked out on the footpath.

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Roaming across Europe

Well, a little bit of it, anyway.

Five of us - three adults and two children - have stuffed our gear into a VW wagon and made our way from France to Germany, via Italy and Austria.

The highway system that links these countries is consistently excellent, though expensive in places.

At one of the toll stops, where we had pulled over to assemble the correct change for the booth, another car pulled up behind us and the driver got out to tap on our window.

He told our driver (who shall remain anonymous) that they had been wandering too close to the middle of the road, and perhaps we would all die in a fireball if this continued.

He politely made his point and went back to his vehicle. A far cry from the extended middle finger and cry of "get off the road ya fuckwit!" that I'd expect from Australians in similar circumstances.

Along the coast, Italy is mountainous and beautiful. There are endless villages strung out along the mountain ridges, with farms perched precariously on the slopes and huge greenhouses on every flat surface.

Then we turned inland, where it becomes rather monotonous. Flat and full of corn.

Our overnight stop was at the Garda Lake, which happens to be next to Italy's answer to Disneyland - Gardaland.

We didn't go there, but our hotel was clearly set up to cater for families that do. It had a massive buffet and some language-free entertainment for kids (magic and mime) after dinner.

The next day we continued towards Germany. The landscape became gorgeously mountainous again as we drifted through Austria.

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The old master

Today we walked up the hill, rising from our seedy city neighbourhood through several social strata to the Musee Matisse.

Between the museum building itself and the little cafe outside, there's an absolute rarity - empty space.

This part of the world has been civilised for so long that parklands just don't seem to exist any more, long ago built over with apartment blocks.

So naturally some people were in this little park playing the French national sport, pétanque.

I think it's a sport in much the same way that Thumb War is a sport.

A game, yes. A thing to keep children amused at a picnic, definitely. But not a sport.

I suspect that the drugs in cycling (the other French national sport) actually drifted over from pétanque, as it would take some serious mind alteration to make me buy a special shirt for tossing metal balls in random outdoor venues.

But the people playing were taking it very seriously indeed, putting on that grim face known amongst aficionados as the "total pétanquer".

I digress.

So the Matisse Museum is full of the old master's work, mainly donated by his family, as they were clearing wall space for plasma TVs.

(Below is the sculpture series: The Many Faces of Margaret Thatcher.)

If the museum was your only exposure to Matisse, you might think he was a bit crap, because it's full of his practice works - the stuff he created on the way to being sublime.

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Viva la di'France

A French road and a French footpath are more or less the same thing.

One has mainly cars and the other mainly pedestrians, but that's mostly a matter of convenience and relative sizes.

After less than a week here, it's no longer a surprise when a Vespa jumps the curb beside me to overtake some jammed cars. And cars will also use the footpaths with aplomb, should the driver need to pick up some dry cleaning, or just stop for a chat about the cigar stink that clings to his jackets.

(This is true: today I watched the local dry cleaner enjoying a stogie in his doorway, smoke drifting back to hang around inside his shop.)

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Commercial demos

I spent the first decade of my career in commercial radio, doing just about everything that a radio station has to offer.

But I spent most of it being a copywriter - writing ads as a part of each station's sales team.

I did this in Canberra at FM104.7 / 2CA and then at Canberra FM.

After that I moved to Sydney, becoming Creative Director at 2WS and then later at Triple-M.

It's a fun job! You talk to local businesses, get a feel for what they want to communicate, and try to write something memorable about them to go on the radio in 90 words or less.

If you're lucky (as I mostly was) you work with clever audio production bods and voice-over people, who help you bring the ideas to life.

I thought I'd share my copywriting demo with you. These ads aren't necessarily all award-winners or the most perfect sales tools, but they're probably the ones I had the most fun making.

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Dark Mofo beaming up

Let me lay this out for you...

MONA is the Museum of Old and New Art, a wacky new museum here in Hobart.

MONA FOMA is the MONA Festival of Old and New Art, an annual arts fest which happens here each January.  This is usually shortened to Mofo.

And Dark Mofo is the brand new mid-winter arts festival they've just launched last week.

Got that?

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Singing in the train

So I'm riding Queensland Rail when something odd starts to happen. I think my Twitter reaction captures it best.

3:21pm - Farting like that on a train ought to be a crime. I'm tempted to stand up and denounce the culprit

4:38pm - The woman behind me is singing "Devil in Disguise" along with Elvis on her headphones. I wonder if she's the mystery farter?

4:40pm - Hang on, now she's onto "Burning Love" and she's really going for it!

4:43pm - You know, both those songs are appropriate for someone farting quietly on public transport.

4:48pm - The singing is getting worse. I have recorded a sample for my blog.

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Queensland reporting

So the ABC has sent me to Queensland as a recovery reporter, talking to the people around the Wide Bay area about how they're getting on since the January floods.

It's an important part of Local Radio's work, so I've done plenty of radio and online stories about it for the ABC.

This post is about all the weird incidental stuff that's happened since I arrived in the sunshine state.

First up, as you can see, I had to buy a hat.  I've wanted an Akubra for donkey's years and now I've found one that I like. The man in the shop says it will be good in the rain too - let's hope so, as I go back to Hobart in a week.

On my first day, the local boss-man Ross gave us a tour and it was quite an eye-opener.

Look at this place in North Bundaberg. During the floods the water in this area was several metres deep and flowing at over 70 km/h, so it would just swirl around some houses and dig out the foundations, leaving them in a sink-hole.

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